Tomorrow it will be three weeks since my heart stent surgery. It seems like it has been much longer … healing is slow, very slow – complicated by my lung disease. I’m sure I am getting stronger each day – although some days are spent mostly sleeping – whether I want to or not. However, that’s better than in the beginning . . .
After the first few days, I simply could not sleep. So, I decided to take matters in hand and took two benadryl tablets to help me sleep. Well, that may not have been the best idea. Soon I was in a state of delusion. For whatever reason, I thought that I must sleep sitting straight up. If I moved and did not keep the position, the clock would turn backward and morning would never come. And it appeared to work! When I slide down in the chair, the clock appeared to move backward. When I sat up straight, the clock moved forward. So, there I sat – straight up – waiting for morning to come. It seemed like many hours had passed but the clock never seemed to move past 5:00 (am). Finally, morning came and it was 7:00 am. For several days following, I tried to stay awake as long as I could, hating the thought of watching that clock all night.
As for sleep medication, I will not be taking a double dose of benadryl again. Interestingly, however, I told this story to one of the nurses during my remicade infusion treatment this week. She said that sleep-deprived people can become delusional – without any help from medication. So, perhaps the delusion was just me. In any case, no more benadryl.
I am surprised about how weak I am. Never would I have imagined a time where I was too weak to knit !!!!! – or – too weak to read !!! I have finally started to knit a little – and read a little — so progress is being made.
Thanks for reading. I hope you return.